Why I Hate Post-College All-Nighters

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All_Nighter_by_Nonexistent_One

This is not Evelyn, though she can relate. (Except for the fact that this person has four hands. If only!)

I’m convinced our brains and bodies drastically change after college.

We spend more time physically on the job as opposed to in hour-long classes dispersed through the week. Work also requires a lot more critical thinking and problem-solving skills than my college courses did.

By 6 p.m., I’m drained!

***

I have never craved an early bedtime as much as I do now. Ironically, now is the stage in my life when I have to hustle pretty hard to get the ball rolling, career-wise.

Even on my best day, after I’ve used all the time management tricks up my sleeve, I have to pull an all-nighter. Or at least try to. Here’s a rundown of how this usually play out now that I’ve graduated from college:

  • First, inventory: Computer? Check. Gmail inbox finally empty? Check! To-do list open? Check. Gallon of sweet tea? Got it! Let’s do this!!
  • Spend 30 minutes trying to find a Spotify playlist that won’t put me to sleep.
  • Hmmm, according to the sleepytime website, if I finish all of this by 3 a.m., I can fit in three solid REM cycles before work in the morning. I’ll be fine. I will be fine.
  • 2 hours of productivity, assess progress.
  • Wow. Um. I’m not anywhere near done with the first thing on my to-do list. This will take a while. I don’t have a while. I got work in the morning, dangit! I got bills to pay!
  • “Sorry—the program quit unexpectedly.” NO IT DIDN’T, MACBOOK, YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE, DIDN’T YOU?!?
  • I can’t do this. Was I ever able to do this? Why did I try to do this?
  • Let me text my friend for encouragement. She’s in engineering school. She’s definitely awake right now.
  • Oh … looks like she’s going to bed, according to her Facebook status. Welp.
  • Maybe if I just take a little baby nap on the couch … I’ll be OK … I won’t be able to sleep very long. It’s the cheapest couch at IKEA, after all. Not comfortable in the slightest. Right?
  • My hips really hurt from sleeping on this couch, but … I just can’t open my eyes right now.
  • How is it 7 a.m.? How long was my baby nap?
  • Has mini breakdown.
  • Guess I’ll hop in the shower now.

Have you pulled any all-nighters since you graduated college and started working? Did you succeed or epically fail? Please tell me I’m not the only one …

(Photo: Nonexistent-One)

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  1. Alicia April 4, 2013 / 1:04 pm

    I love this blog post! I definitely feel the same way and the way you put it–well, I definitely couldn’t have said it any better! I am working now in a field I went to college for and I am busy, busy, busy. I go to bed late, wake up early for work, work, come home, and all I want to do is sleep. I feel so drained and often don’t have time or energy to do the leisure things I want. Even when I’m out of the office, I’m still always working. I pull all-nighters pretty much every night and I’m glad there is a blog post like this because it describes what I go through! But on the other hand, I like the feeling of being busy and constantly on the go all the time. It makes me motivated to even do more if that makes sense! (I always need a great Spotify playlist to keep me up and working too!)

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