Why You Should Move To North Dakota And Order Only Large Pizzas (Plus, Other “News”)

North Dakota Screencap
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It’s been a few weeks since we last looked at what’s going on in the world.

Since then, I’ve spent endless hours wondering whether a gold medal or a gold Oscar is worth more money. Turns out, it’s the medal—and it’s worth “only” $548! (Everyone knows the Oscar gift bag is where the real money is anyway.)

With that settled, here’s some other news that recently caught my eye.…

Sallie Mae’s Thank Yous, Beyoncé’s New Class, And More “News”

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This blog’s loyal reader(s) have probably noticed some changes over the past month, as we’ve cut back on our recurring features.

Perhaps you simply thought these were in hibernation. And who could blame them for going there—I mean, especially with this Polar Vortex!? (Yup, this is the topical humor you missed.) Alas, this is the new normal, and we don’t plan to cancel it soon.…