Sorry, but people aren’t made of money.
Since I graduated from college a semester early, I moved back home to figure my life out. I’m still workin’ on it.
I enjoyed the home cooked meals and not spending money on overpriced textbooks, but in those 6 months after graduation, I also became a hermit. No social life to speak of. All my friends were 3 hours away and… well, still in college.
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I’m glad I met new people at my journalism fellowship in Phoenix this summer. It felt good to have bros in different area codes, you know?
What I wasn’t prepared for was the toll my social life would have on my funds. When you’re a young professional in a new city, it’s not making money that’s the hard part. It’s saving it. Here are 3 reasons why.
1. STRANGERS HAVE TO BOND IN PUBLIC
Remember open door nights in college dorms? When everyone left their door open to bond with the residents on the floor and baked goods were usually involved? Yeah, I never participated in that crap either.
Still, a college campus was a relatively safe space to meet new people. Now, if I just met someone at work, I wouldn’t immediately invite him or her to my house. It’s unsafe and creepy, to be honest. We’ll have to get acquainted in public.
The movies? A concert? Tickets to a basketball game? It’ll cost ya. And since it takes at least 5 friend dates to turn a complete stranger into an acquaintance, it’ll start to add up.
2. EATING IS A SOCIAL ACTIVITY
If you’re not in the mood for the friend dates I suggested above, carpooling for a quick lunch or meeting after work for dinner is the way to go. I’ll confess: I can’t say no to good food and good people.
As fate would have it, my roommate is a food writer. She’s also ridiculously fun to be around. Every day, I was faced with a choice: find the strength to come home at 5 p.m. and cook (assuming I remembered to buy groceries) or unwind over the dish-du-jour at an eatery with my new friend. Guess what my decision usually was!
3. LIQUID COURAGE AIN’T CHEAP
Buying drinks at a bar is probably the fastest way to spend money. $7 for a few ounces of the good stuff? Don’t do it, man.
Whether it’s going out to the club on the weekends or dipping out early to catch happy hour at your favorite spot, alcohol by the glass can ring up a hefty tab. You’d be better off visiting your local Liquors-R-Us (I wonder if that’s a real thing…) and buying a bottle for around $20.
Unfortunately, this is more suitable for the friend date number 6 (refer to point 1, above). So until then, we’ll have another round, bartender. (Editor’s note: Only if you’re of legal drinking age, of course!)
You can soften the blow by opting out of a couple hang-out sessions if you’re pressed for cash. But think about it this way: You’re investing in a new friendship. Give it time, and soon you’ll be old buddies who spend cheap Sunday nights together in their pajamas watching Breaking Bad and throwin’ back some brews.
But that’s not until like, friend date number 15.
Know of a good, cheap (non-creepy) way to grow new friendships? Let us know in the comments.
When I first saw this post I thought it would be … something different. About how people with debt are un-dateable, somehow unworthy of love, maybe.
That’s not it at all, of course. I agree with you that it’s important to match priorities and finances, and to have them at the ready.
Money is a huge sticking point in relationships, so it helps to pay attention – and also to accept that your partner will probably not always match your priorities 100% of the time.
Debt definitely does not make someone undateable! I couldn’t do that — too hypocritical given the fact that I’m still in debt!
Money is definitely a sticking point in a relationship, and it can also be one that’s ever-changing since it’s likely couples will experience things like lay-offs or changes in pay or planned time off that can have a huge impact on spending and income. While you might not agree on everything, it is important to reach an agreement that you’re both happy with. Sadly, sometimes that’s not actually possible in relationships and finances can be a deal-breaker!
Great post Bridget!
However, I want to mention that I use my credit card for ALL my purchases even though it’s paid off every month. For me, it’s the easiest way to pay for things, track my expenses and earn a couple miles for that next sunny vacation.
Otherwise I think your post was spot on.
That’s a good point, Paul. Credit cards can have some awesome perks when used correctly. Maybe I’ll reel in my judgement on that one a bit